Half-Korean friend, housemate, and occasional camel, Zoë Bean is probably the sanest one of the bunch, often acting as the voice of reason. More often than not, she gets swept up in the group's adventures either entirely by accident or against her will.


Zoë first appeared on September 23, 1997[1] (see The Bikini-Suicide-Frisbee Match). Zoë is originally from Nebraska, where she also eventually graduated college. Her family includes her younger sister Min (who is now in college herself), her father (who works as an English teacher and looks vaguely similar to Torg), and an incredibly overprotective Korean mother. She long ago gave up on trying to be honest with her mother about her life since meeting Torg and Riff ("No, Mom, I'm not on drugs!").

A magical necklace, a gift from Torg, has somehow become attached to Zoë, and now manifests only as a tattoo based on its original shape. The presence of this necklace causes her to be transformed into a camel by the magic word "Shupid" and restored by the word "Kwi" (see Spitting Image).

Zoë has found constant work in radio, most recently as an intern on KBLAM's Broadman and Midget Show. Put on the air as Leslie Bean, "The Flakey Intern", her appearances brought in high ratings as she began talking about her bizarre home-life situations on air, eventually gaining her an own show with "Midget" (there known as "Jetski"). However, her friends are upset to hear her talking about them on the show; she's been forced to move out of the mansion and has started living with Torg. As of December 2006 her radio career has alienated her from everyone bar Torg, including her family [2], and on 16th February 2007 she appeared to be trying to leave her job.


There is a great deal of unspoken romantic tension between Zoë and Torg, which has been the cause of many a fan's frustration (as well as a great deal of hilarity). Of the two, Zoë seems not to be explicitly aware of what feelings she might have for him. Torg, on the other hand, thinks he's in love with her, but has been unable and sometimes unwilling to act on these feelings due to various circumstances over the years, ranging from her dating someone else to fear that Oasis would kill her out of jealousy. Anything resembling a resolution on this issue is yet to take place. They kissed on the first New Years, but Zoë was very drunk (New Years Eve Week[3]). During the chapter bROKEN, Zoë realizes that Torg is in love with her and that she loves him back; however later events overtake this epiphany (see spoiler warning below).

They finally kiss on 2013-06-13 and enjoy their relationship on the ship to Mohkadun. While Torg makes a video for his future kids at some point, he brings this up in a serious way first on 2016-07-21.

Much later he proposes to Zoe but gets rebuffed due to how he did it. But eventually, they decide to get married after all.

The Oasis threat[]

The romantic tension between Zoë and Torg has given Oasis cause to see Zoë as an obstacle in her own mad quest to conquer and marry Torg. This has led to Oasis attempting to kill Zoë on several occasions.

During bROKEN, Oasis appeared to finally succeed in killing Zoë, although no body was found. In 4U City Blue, Brian Rammer claimed that she had survived, but severely weakened and in severe pain, with machines keeping her alive. See spoilers below for more details.


Zoë has alternatives in several dimensions.

One is "lame-Zoë" from the Dimension of Lame.

Another Zoë originates in the Dimension of Rain, and is an integral part of the mystery of that dimension which Riff set out to solve, so details can be found in the spoilers.



This section blatantly gives away the mysteries and/or endings of the storylines 4U City Red.

If you haven't read some of those stories, then dude, before you go any further, go read them![4] This stuff will still be here when you're done.

You have been warned...

The Zoë from the Dimension of Lame was crushed to death during Torg's fight with Horribus and the Demon King. This fact has tortured Torg ever since, leading to an even stronger reaction when his own dimensions Zoë went missing.

Towards the end of 4U City Red it is discovered that Zoë was saved from death by the city medical nanites but has been effectively reduced to a vegetative state with no trace of her original memories or personality. At the climax of the chapter Riff successfully restores her memories and returns the healthy Zoë to the Sluggy-Prime. However, Zoë's restored memories do not include the later events of bROKEN and the attack by Oasis; this may prove significant as it was during the attack that Zoë finally realized that she was in love with Torg (Torg, who had a similar epiphany, still remembers this). The necklace's enchantment effect has been removed from Zoë with the exception of the pigmentation, causing the necklace to revert to its magic item form, which Gwynn believed to be proof of Zoë's death.

The Zoë native to the Dimension of Rain died of burn wounds in the arms of the native Riff, when they were betrayed by that dimension's Schlock and emergency-DFA'ed to a foreign world.