New Years at the Center of the Earth
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The final story in the chapter Paradise. It shows what happened to the Displacement Drive Vehicle after it plowed through the ocean floor at the end of Displacement.


The story begins with the displacement drive vehicle (DDV) burrowing towards a large cavern in the outer part of the Earth's core. The DDV breaks through the upper part of the cave with its last bit of gas and lands on top of a T-Rex eating a mole person. After the dinosaur runs off two mole people find it and after commenting how they can't see it very well due to the low light in the valley declare it to be their mole chick magnet. Meanwhile the injured T-Rex seeks help only to be made fun of by the brontosaurs for his puny arms. Father Time and the new Fate Spider observe the DDV finding The Valley that Time Forgot through the still-intact Web of Fate. The Fate Spider asks if Father Time really forgot about it, he replies he never forgets anything until he realizes that there are dinosaurs down there. After that he begins to panic and says to contact temporal accounting on the double. Meanwhile the T-Rex strangled one of the brontosaurs making fun of him with hand extensions. (she said that when he hunted her she wanted death by strangulation) Father Time then discovers that one of the members of temporal accounting (a triceratops) had deliberately put the dinosaurs there to protest his office policies (one personal item only). Father Time fires her and then sends a notice to the mole-people of the valley telling them that they're really in a cavern and not a valley as they had all thought. The chief mole-man blames this oversight on one of his followers and banishes him. He is talking to a brontosaurus when he is squished by the T-Rex. The two dinosaurs start punning about his death and laughing. Father Time observes this and says that because they predate the web and thus are outside of it they must be destroyed. (also because of their bad puns) To do this he plants a soda machine filled with sugary soft drinks in the dinosaur's high school cafeteria.

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