Minions are Forever
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Minions are Forever describes the minions' raid on Nofun corporation in an attempt to take them down.


The story begins with Crushestro making drinks for himself and Monicruel on the island that they are trapped on. He goes down to the beach and finds her held at gunpoint by some of his own troops. Someone else approaches and it is revealed to be Chestro, Crushestro's wife. She starts beating on him with a golf club and asking him why he had been hiding from her. He counters by saying that he tried to call for help but she wouldn't return his calls. She said that she was getting a bikini wax for months as her skin made it arduous. She then hands the golf club to Monicruel saying that she would know whether or not she was lying about knowing if Crushestro was married. Monicruel begins beating Crushestro up for lying to her, but he grabs the golf club and crushes it saying that when he went missing they were finalizing a divorce. Chestro says that she had the divorce annulled and that the should hire Bestseid to fix their company image. Another villain, Papa Rattzy, snaps some pictures of the scene and publishes a story that ruins Crushestro's image. The story then cuts to Bestseid, the P.R. villain. He has been captured by the minions after traveling to a warehouse to meet with the Minion Master. The minions demand that he give them everything he knows about Nofun, coupons, and cover as Bestseid workers. Nofun's underground complex is directly below a large amusement park. the base has multiple labs, and a security system that vaporizes anything within any of the labs if there is a biological accident. There is only one official way into the base and that is by going through a security checkpoint. Sasha infiltrates from here by imitating one of Bestseid's agents, and fools the executive meeting with her into thinking she's been mutated by using Zombie Head on a Stick. The executive flees out of his personal emergency escape hatch which shows Torg and Sam how to get in. They infiltrate the base and take over then control room. While in there Sam asks Sasha out on a date (all because she gave him a "good job" pat on the shoulder when they were capturing Bestseid) and to his very great surprise she accepts. Torg meanwhile reveals his plan: they will evacuate each lab one by one and vaporize the contents (unless it contained something they could take back to the Minion Master). After this was done they'd plant an EMP bomb next to the computers and set it off, destroying all the data in the systems. They begin evacuating the labs and decontaminating them, but this triggers "some sort of failsafe" in Dr. Nofun's room. Fortunately for the minions Nofun is asleep when this happens, but his right-hand man Lau wakes him up and the minions are discovered. Sasha is locked in the decontamination room while Torg and Sam hold off Lau. Torg detonates an EMP Bomb next to NoFun's servers which knocks out most of the power in the facility. Sam saves Sasha, but she is shot in the process. Meanwhile NoFun's scientists are waiting in the cafeteria when the power goes out. One of them had brought their project with them: a squid on a stick which delivers a powerful mutagen to however it jabs. With the lights out several of the scientist get poked by the stick. Sasha later wakes up, revealing she only fainted and the wound was not as serious as Sam thought. Torg, on the other hand, has been captured by Lau and NoFun and is taken away by an underground monorail. Sasha and Sam try to find him but they run out of time, as all of the security guards working in the amusement park above are about to come down for the night shift. They leave, vowing to regroup and rescue Torg. It is revealed that Crushestro had recently moved in next door to NoFun, and was happy to finally have a Minion Master Minion to interrogate.


The 13th anniversary comic occurred during this chapter, with Torg singing (much to the dismay of his captors) as they're transporting him on a train.

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