Get me a Proctologist!
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Get me a Proctologist! is the first story to take longer than a week, and introduces Aylee to the main cast and the Sluggyverse.

Torg and Riff are attacked on the derelict space station by a group of aliens called Xenomorphs, stylistically similar to those from the Alien movies. After their fending off most of the aliens, Dykowski is attacked by what looks at first like a "face hugger", only it doesn't go for the face (hence the story title). A xenomorph later bursts out of Dykowski inside the ship, and begins eating the crew (this alien is later seen to be Aylee). Aylee eats most of the crew, including Torg, but she spits him back out (supposedly because his dandruff shampoo tasted bad).

Aylee finishes off the rest of the crew, leaving Torg and Riff alone to fight her off with big guns found on the ship's bridge (including Riff's laser cannon?). They try to blow Aylee out of the airlock, but fail just in time to enter the dimensional flux. Riff sets up the portal to take them home, and Torg, Riff and Aylee rush into the portal before it closes, taking them back to the Sluggyverse.

Zoë comes over to Torg and Riff's apartment meet her neighbors, and runs into Torg and Riff chasing Aylee, injuring Zoë again.

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